December 2019. We are sitting, talking over a cup of coffee with a client.
Client (C): We have not met on a professional basis for more than two years. I've achieved what I wanted and even more. Friends and colleagues unanimously saying, what a fine fellow I am and how much I have done. Well, what am I going to tell you, you know it by yourself.
I remain silent and look at him. I not only see this, but I already roughly understand what will follow.
C: But at the same, I am somehow not very happy with all this. What, like many before, I also stepped on a rake? I thought that I would achieve it and become happy, but did not? Why have I been acutely feeling lately, that I am not happy with achievements?
………
After a few questions, I ask the following:
How many people have you made happy lately? (I understand that the question is clumsy and not very clear, but that's what I need - turn on his brain and knock him out of the template)
C: What do you mean ??????
Me: :)
C: Explain?
Me: Well, do you remember that people are social animals. And one of the basic principles that people noticed in animals a couple of thousand years ago and then described all possible Scriptures, philosophical treatises and other main scriptures, sounds something like this: A person feels good when other people feel good around him, when he does well to others.
So I'm asking you how many people have you made happy lately? You are all the time about your achievements and successes. And it's good, that you focused on them and it helped you to reach the level where you are now. Sounds familiar?
C: Well, yes ... And what if I now make something good to others, it will help me start to have fun and joy?
Me: What do you think it feels like? Let's try to remember, what you were more happy about as a child: when you just did something, for example, from a constructor or blinded something, and you were praised, or when you yourself, without your parents' requests, helped them, while you knew that you really helped and they praised you?
C: Well, of course when I helped and was praised ... I seem to begin to understand the idea.


5 months have passed. Phone call today. The same Client
C: Thank you. I'm happy again. Now I understand for whom, besides myself, I am doing what I am doing. And even more for them than for themselves. And on your favorite scale, I'm now at Level 10.

How interesting shamanize our brain wit us

During trainings and coaching sessions I often have to convey two simple thoughts. Not always both of them, because they may not be connected to each other, although by managers they are usually connected. And it seems they are not new, but cause a bunch of emotions and insights.

The first thought, not mine (that a pity): "People come to the company, but go away from people."
Second: There are facts, and there are speculations.

For example: "I will not succeed, because others did not succeeded ." This is conjecture. Because «Others" - who are they? Have you seen everyone and spoke with everyone, who tried it? If not with everyone, or spoke with everyone, but only some of them succeeded, then this is the conjecture.
While we live in our conjectures, we cannot change the situation. We can only change something, when we reformulate the conjecture into fact. For example: people who tried it in such circumstances, did not receive the result. Or ... There may be many options, so I will not go further.

And as soon as,, people are aware of this, in the process of individual work or training, and learn it, they usually that they have a lot of energy and ready to act.

Tendai Monks live in Japan. According to their teachings, a person can achieve enlightenment in this life. But only through extreme self-denial. For them the path to self-denial is a physical challenge - Kaihogyo. These monks are also called "Marathon Monks". The bottom line is, that they accept a challenge for 1000 days. This is about 7 years. And ... they run.

In the first year, they run 30 km every single day for 100 days, and in the seventh year - 84 km per day.
And, an important point.
During the first 100 days, the monk can get out of Kaihogyo. But starting from day 101st no way to exit. The monk must either reach Kaihogyo, or make a ritual suicide.

Of course it is extremely. At the same time, the same approach can be used in our lives. First of all, it is about where we spend energy, about our goals, projects. If something is important for you, then you need to continue to do it, no matter how difficult it is. A
Meanwhile 100 days is enough to understand, if you need it or not. Should we expect any results form the project or not. But if it does not matter, you do not need to continue to drag this suitcase without a handle. But if you concentrated on achieving the goal and decided to go - you have to stick to guns. And do not stop on the part-results, part-decisions.

And remember, while you have not taken any real obligations for yourself, you will be distracted by everything and everybody, and others will try to use you to achieve their own goals. The famous story is that, if you do not have your goals, then the other will "take you by the hand" and lead to the achievement of the goal that is beneficial to them. When you define a target for yourself or understand that it is truly important for you, than like the monks of Tendai, you begin to organize your life around this important and do not spin on unnecessary.

And it is not so important, how long you will follow the way to achieve. The main thing is to start.